Get stuck in a routine

 When I returned to my job after the maternity leave, almost three years ago, I've woken up in the morning at the same hour everyday and did the same things before leaving to work. It was so mechanic, that when I sat in the car and took a look at the clock, its always the same hour: 7:17am. Uau!! I was so happy, because that means that my plans for that day would had a big chance to be successful.

Now, my office is my home, as I've been working as a freelance journalist. As well as in Brazil, I usually have a routine in the morning, not only for me but also for my daughter. Kids need routine, it makes them more self-confident, for they know what comes next.

Have a routine is good. Routine gives to you the organization feel. The problem is when something different happens. When something changes your routine and you don’t know how to manage that situation. Until I have consolidated my routine here in Houston I used to be upset when things like this happened with me. 

Now I learn how to manage my schedule when the unexpected arises. Also I learn how to manage my anxiety about how I would finish my activities that day. I’ve began to give myself more flexibility. Now I know that in the end everything is going to be fine, sometimes not in the way we had planned.

I collected some advice about how to break the chain that keeps us stuck to routine. What do you think to try one of these?

• ·         Give you more flexibility.
• ·         Open up the possibility to adjust your activities to your moods.
• ·         Change the times you do things. 
• ·         Change your way to work.
• ·         Change your eating schedule. 
• ·         Stop making wrong comparisons
• ·         Go somewhere new every once in a while
• ·         Cook something new every week.

RESILIENCE, not easy, and is not impossible

Hello fellows, there are five months since my last post.

During this time that I was offline, I was practicing resilience. It is about this topic that I wanna talk today.

I’ve been learning that the first step to take during a resilience process is leave the past in the past. 

You will never look further if your mind is still in your “old” life (that one before the things had been changing). It is not meaning that you have to forget the good things that happened with you in the past. The thing is to stop think that you will be happy only if you have your “old” life back. It is a common thought especially if you had been submitting to a change that wasn't in your plans.

• Instead of complain, the resilient has to talk about ideas!
• Instead of ask “why is this happening to me” ask “How can I enjoy this new situation in my own benefit?”.

One thing that was upsetting me a lot was that I didn't have plans in my life. This made me feel lost. 

For me, if someone don’t have plans means he/she is wandering in the life. Set goals and develop life plans it is important to make you get up from the sofa and write the history of your life; instead of just watch your life going away.

I’d like to share with you a picture that a friend has posted on Facebook about the behavior of a "successful people" and "unsuccessful people". It is a good start to practice resilience. It is something to think about. Remember that the successful doesn't mean only money, goes beyond that; it is happiness, health, comfort…

Seeking for the right words

Photo by: Destonian_istockphoto

Write is something that I really like to do. I like to think about my audience (Who they are? What do they want to read about? Will they enjoy my text?). I like to think about the words I’ll use to make my texts more readable. I like to seek for synonyms. I like to rewrite a sentence, just to see in which way sounds better.

For this passion, I started (encouraged by a friend) to register what my toddler (2 years old) girl does and speaks. I’ve placed amusing situations executed by her in a journal that I called “Eva’s news”.

After I’ve sent one of "Eva’s news" edition to my friends and relatives, some of them answer my e-mail to tell me how they like the way I write. And that they have pleasure of reading my texts. 

So, I started to think about that: when you do something that you like and you love; and when you worried about the final results, probably you are doing something that will give compliments for you back.

I know that these compliments my friends have given to me are results of years of studies in the field that I love: write! But all of this is happening in Portuguese. I know that I don’t have the same experience in English. I’ve done my best for one day I have the same knowledge in English as I have in Portuguese. I've attended some proofreading seminar, and I've read a lot to understand how English language works. 

Write this blog is one of my exercises to reach my goal.

Entry #6

I am not a superwoman

It has more than twenty days since my last post, and I’ll tell you that I don’t have sure if I've overcome the “writer’s block”. During these past days lot of things happened, I wrote some sentences, but I don’t feel that these "things" were interesting enough to publish here.

Well, one event touched me those days. One of the most important brazilian journalist Ricardo Boechat back to work on Thursday, after to stay ten day at home, recovering from severe depression. In the day he went back to television he published a post talking about how he thought to be unbeatable. While I was reading his post I started to think how right was my idea to go back to the therapy.

I am proud of myself because I've had the humility to realize that I couldn't pass by my adaptation in Houston by myself. I realized that I am not a superwomanI realized that I really feel bad when even a store doesn't offer me a job, for instance. And how important is to my family see me good, physically and psychologically.

Ask for help is not a simple decision, as well as tell everyone about this. But maybe, this post can encourage someone to ask for help. It doesn't have to be a therapist help, can be a help from a friend, from a relative or even from your neighbor. And It can be a help for anything. The big mean is see that we try, but we can’t do anything alone. Together is easier and funnier.

Entry#5

Writer’s block

I am sure that everyone who works as a writer once in your professional life has written a text talking about the day when the ideas didn't come. For me, this is not my first time. I can remember to write about that subject when I was taking classes to write short chronicles in Porto Alegre. It was a long time ago. But, now it’s my first time in English language.

Once I read two different interviews with two big Brazilian writers: Jorge Amado and Clarice Lispector. And both said that the worst incentive that a writer can have is the obligation to have to write. Even if you love writing and work with this, sometime the ideas will run away. On the other hand, having a dead-line to deliver a text can be very motivating.

Actually, the ideas disappear in the exact moment that I need them: when I sit to write a post. I have some ideas during the week, the problem is that if I don't write them, they will disappear. 

In 2008, I attended a small course with Charles Kiefer at Porto Alegre Book Fair and he said that one day, he was driving his car in the road and had an idea to write a text. Immediately, he stopped his car in the road shoulder, picked his notebook up and wrote the idea. I think I should do this.

I know that the one of the goals of this blog is to show for the americans recruiters how creative I am. It is not good, for me, publish a post talking about the day that the creativity is gone. I am sorry, recruiters, but this kind of situation happens more frequently than you can imagine, even with big authors!

#entry 4

Olfactory memories

Let’s talk about food, but not in traditional way. I mean, this is not an article about diet or how to be the new Rachel Ray! I want to talk about how food can bring good memories, and we don't even need to eat it. Just feeling the smell makes us recall important moments of our lives. And I didn’t know that until I left my home town.

I can remember the exact moment that I had my first “olfactory memory”. I was leaving the Unisinos campus and I passed by the cafeteria when I felt that magnificent scent! And I didn’t feel not only the food’s perfume, I felt like I was a child again. That evening, in the cafeteria menu there was chicken soup. My mammy and my grandmother used to cook chicken soup at least once a week (but I could eat it every day).

I also remember that I didn’t know that this feeling had a name. A friend who was walking with me and witnessed my reaction, immediately spoke: “This is a olfactory memory”. Since that day I have been having a huge quantity of “olfactory memories”!!! And they have been so good!

I can have “olfactory memories” when I smell coriander handful or when a cake is baking… I think I am a lucky person by having good things to recall. 

Today I went more far than olfactory memory. I decided to cook one of my mammy’s specialties: chicken risotto. It is not a sophisticated recipe. It is so simple, so simple that I guess that is this simplicity that make this risotto so good. In my lunch time today, I felt not only my childhood scent, but I also tasted the flavor.

Chicken risotto, one of my mammy's specialties

#entry 3

Sabotage

Who did therapy once in the life already heard the expression “you are sabotaging yourself” from the person that is sitting in front of you and has the high capacity to staring at you for forty-five minutes without judge you for even one second. Sometimes they don’t tell in this words, or use the word “sabotage”, but they make you understand that your life doesn't get better because you don't believe in yourself.

When I told my friends about my transfer to Houston, some of them suggested me to create a blog where I could write the humor posts that I’ve post on Facebook. They told me that they’ve liked the way I write. I didn’t take this serious and thought they were being just nice to me.

However, some two months ago I published a book in Brazil after I had been invited for two different publishing houses. When I picked the book up in my hands, I started to realize that I could be a good writer as my friends had told me. I kept this thought in my mind.

Some days ago, I started to read a book that my friend Graziella Caputo indicated me. It is: Lean in - women, work, and the will to lead – written by Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO). In this book, Sheryl shows with examples experienced by her and with academic researches that women usually deny their abilities, their achievement … We usually sabotage ourselves! Sheryl says that we don't proud of ourselves because we live in a world where “to feel proud” is a men’s feature.

If a man hears from his friend that he is a good writer and should invest in a blog, I am sure he would feel very proud of his ability and would take the advice very seriously. That was I did, after published a book and after read Sheryl’s book! Ok, I took almost one year to believe in my friends and create this blog.

I hope, I really hope my friends were right about my ability to write. I also hope they enjoy to read this blog as I’ve enjoy write for them.

To read

Lean in: women, work, and the will to lead

Sheryl Sandberg